Sovereignty and adoption...

I have been thinking all weekend what to name this post and where to start. I sent out an email this morning to family & friends and am so thankful for you all. It was easy to tell which ones really know us and are involved in our lives and which ones hold a back row seat with quick opinions. I have to say I do appreciate all the honest responses either way.

Our lives have been busy, crazy... You get the idea...
but the comment has come up about adoption and God's sovereignty lately.
How could God allow so many bad things to happen specifically to S and Q. I am with you; something I have thought of often myself. I am by no means an expert, but this is where I have come.

Well over the past few years I have learned to trust his sovereignty, not as a feeling, but just like love as a choice. He either is or isn't, and I believe he is.
Just as I know there is no difference between an adopted child and a bio child. As a mother of both, they are, well, just my children. The children God has chosen to bless me with. Some for a much longer time than others, but still my children.

I refuse to give into my selfish indulgence to keep any of my children from what is best for them due to what a few naysayers who have never walked my path or even been in my home dictate. Or to just keep them to myself because I can't let go.

Two of our children are mentally ill, we have gotten so much help for them and given all we have to help them. It is very humbling to realize that is not enough. So this past weekend many miracles came together to get those 2 children the help they need and deserve. Yes all my children deserve the best. And guess what, that is not always me.

S & Q have made it very obvious since they came home that they had no desire to be in the same family or home. This past weekend they were both very thankful to learn that would no longer be an issue. They will always be part of the same family (ours) & (God's) but will not have to live together any longer. This made them both very happy as they professed to never see each other again :(

So Q went to live with a family with no other children which is what she needs most and deserves. She requires so much more attention than we could offer. She is very happy with her new home and that her mom (me) will always love her and be part of her life (smile)

S has gone to a treatment home and has so many more opportunities. I am so sad to say goodbye for now, (this has been a very emotional time) but so excited at the chance they are both being given. I know as a Mom my job is to teach them right in the ways they will go and let them go. They both really are closer to 17 years old. So I am letting go.

I will still talk to them, visit, write and send treats that only Mom can send. They have not left my heart and never will.

It is a gift! Only a Mommy can understand your children are always your children. One thing I know they learned here is they will always be loved, and for that I am thankful.
I know I am not perfect and could have done many things differently, and I am sad because this is not how I wanted it to be, but also know that I wouldn't change a thing; my kids, all 6 of them, are safe, loved and receiving all the help they need whether adopted or bio, they were all born in my heart!!

I also want to share the biggest lesson learned: I will never judge another's journey; I will only have love and support to offer. Only God knows how difficult it may be and I thank you all for your grace and love.

Keep checking for pictures there will be some of all 6 of our kids along with updates.

Just because they are not living in our home doesn't change the fact they are our chldren, we will post updates and pictures like always!! (grin)